Grinds My Gears Blog #4 (I Think)- Pyramid Schemes and how to watch out for them

Hey there folks! I know it's been a long time since I last put up a blog, but sadly, nothing had grinded my gears. Until now. Have you ever been contacted by a friend, family member, or even a mere acquaintance telling you about the greatest new "business opportunity" they had for you? Did it involve "working from the comfort of your own home" with the promise of "earning $1,000-$3,000 more a month without having to answer to an employer?" If you have, then you, sir, have been introduced to the pyramid scheme (GREAT time to have a Billy Mays-type pitch, God rest his soul.). What is this, you ask? Well, some people know it as a pyramid scheme, some know it as an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) company. Any way you spell it, it all means the same thing: SCAM. These so-called "business opportunities" promise you riches and success beyond your wildest dreams. It all seems great, until you encounter the details of it. How can I know, you ask? well, just watch out for these warning signs and you'll be wise in the art of scam protection:




1. The "Orientation"

All these companies have their own way of "recruiting" more "potential businessmen", or better known by the common term, suckers. They do so by holding some sort of orientation. Usually, their goal is to get you to join their company. Once you get to this part, watch out for the next things.

2. The "Ringers"

Now, once you attend these orientations that they have, you won't help but notice all the sharp-dressed people that are attending. Then, you'll be mesmerized by the success stories of these people, claiming to have had their lives changed by these companies. They'll say that before they were involved in the company, they had no time and no money. They'll expect you to believe that the company somehow magically changed their lives. These people are called "Ringers." Ringers are people who are paid by a company to speak wonders about them. Here's how it works: A company gets some guys, rents them nice suits and equally nice cars and has them attend their meetings looking like a couple of big shots. The truth is, folks, they are no richer than you or me. To paraphrase President Barack Obama, "I can put lipstick on a pig, but in the end, it's still a pig."

3. The "Catchphrase"

Usually, these companies have a certain phrase that they like to use to define the "former work life" of their said employees. One company I encountered said that their employees were "sick and tired of being sick and tired." This was implying that they were tired of doing something for nothing, or something to that effect. Another company I encountered described their former work life as "working all day, eight till faint." I think that one is pretty self-explanatory. They do this as a mechanism to try and make you familiarize with them and say "well, gee, these guys were just like me!" and immediately join their company. This is usually the point where you find out whether it is a scam or not.

4. The "Opportunity"

Now we get to the scam itself. No matter what kind of service it is, they will tell you that you can get started right away for a "small introductory fee." Usually, their definition of small is in the range of $200-$300. Now, I ask you, why should you have to pay in order to work? If you had the money to pay for the "opportunity", you wouldn't really need it, now would you? I recently attended a business meeting for a very well known MLM company where the keynote speaker was asked that very same question. His response: "well, how much did you pay for your job? Nothing? well, you get what you paid for." WHAT?! REALLY?! So that little piece of paper with numbers and a dollar sign that I get every two weeks or so is nothing? Well then I guess I got more than what I paid for now isn't it? completely and utterly ridiculous.

well, these are the four basic things to watch out for when introduced to a pyramid scheme. If you find yourself in a potential employment opportunity that involves any of these four things, DO NOT BUY INTO IT. It is nothing more than a scam that is used to take money from you, not give you money. If you're told that it is a business opportunity, they're right. It's an opportunity for them to do business off of you! So to you, my friend I say, be careful and Godspeed. And that, friends, is what grinds my gears. Later days!

Blog #3: Judge not lest ye be judged

you know what really grinds-- no, REALLY, REALLY grinds my gears? stupid, self-righteous, conceited, judgmental christians!!! Now, before you get on your high horse and deem me as "offensive" and a "non-believer," keep this in mind, I'm saying this because I, too, am a Christian and this is something that has been on my mind for years now. Everyone knows who I'm talking about when I mention these people. These are the kind of guys that give Christianity a bad name. These are the kind of guys that think they're perfect and because of it, they feel the need to "purify" those around them. According to them, everyone is a heathen and a sinner but them. Unfortunately, I have to deal with these kinds of people. I have a few friends (whom I have decided to deem "The God Squad") who think that they are the most perfect little Christians this side of the western hemisphere. They are not too fond of the idea that I am not "one of them" because I take a liking to heavy metal and because, unlike them, I can actually see the flaws in Christian music (Hey, that sounds like my next blog, hint, hint.). They try to convince me to give them my ipod so they can Christianize it and get rid of my "Devil Music." To them, I am as impure and sinful as Lucifer himself, even though I attend church regularly and I try to follow God's word to the best of my abilities. All the time, they say I'm "wrong" and I should repent (or something to that effect, to be honest with you, whenever they start saying that crap, I usually tune them out by getting "Painkiller" stuck in my head). All I tell them is that they shouldn't judge me for how I live my life because I don't judge them because after all, who are they to tell me I'm wrong? Don't they have flaws? Don't they sin? Of freakin course they do. But they are so stuck in their little plastic bubble that they can't realize that they're commiting the biggest sin of all: hypocrisy. Pretending to be perfect and a saint is absolutely ridiculous in my book and it should be prevented. Now, I know I'm not perfect and that's what separates me from them; I can actually admit my mistakes and where I'm wrong according to the Bible, not to what they say, and actually try to fix them. For those reading this that encounter this problem, a little religious insight for you. Whenever you encounter people like these, do what I do. Say, "well, the next time you want to label me as a sinner or a heathen, read 1 Corinthians chapter 4 and chapter 6:1-11 and then come back to me." Hopefully through this, Christianity will be seen as God intended it to be seen: a religion that embraces all walks of life and not a members-only society of saints. And that, friends, is what grinds my gears today. Later days!

Blog #2: Hollister's plague on latino society

You know what really grinds my gears? hispanic kids nowadays that think that all these beach-themed clothing brands are all the rage. you know which ones i'm talking about: hollister, abercrombie, crap like that. It doesn't really bother me that it's here, but rather the people who wear them: raza. who the hell are you trying to fool? when your name is freakin Julio Martin Bonifacio Martinez Gonzalez, NOBODY'S GONNA BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE NOT A DAMN BEANER!!!!!! (Disclaimer: I'm hispanic too, so i'm not saying it as a racial slur but as a term of endearment)ONE FREAKIN SHIRT IS NOT GONNA CHANGE THAT, DAMN IT! So please, for the love of God, when I come up to you and I ask: "oye, no sabes donde hay on McDonalds por aqui, compadre?" you'd better give me the right response in order to avoid this:
(valley girl voice)"Oh, my God, what did you say? Um, I'm not mexi--" YES YOU F*CKIN ARE!!!!!!!! *slap across the face* And that, friends, is what is grinding my gears today. enjoy.

Blog #1: Nerds on Message Boards

You know what really grinds my gears? I try to go on a message board and have some fun, and there's always that a-hole that takes the topic too damn seriously! Most recently, I went on an espn game where you can simulate NBA trades and then copy the link on one of their message boards for everyone else to see. Now, keep in mind, a lot of these are more like "what-if" situations that aren't very realistic (i.e. Kobe, LeBron and Chris Paul going to the Boston Cheaters [sorry, I meant Celtics, but I digress]). That being said, I made a trade that would send Shaquille O'Neal back to my beloved Lakers in exchange for 5 bench players. Next thing I know, there's a dee-dee-dee telling me off about how it's not possible and that it was retarded. Here was my response:

"you know what? sorry for being optimistic for something that at this point, is pretty much inevitable. and yes I am a lakers fan. an 18-year-old laker fan who actually watches the games and can tell you that players like DJ Mbenga, Luke Walton, and Josh Powell are not terrible! this trade works both ways because the suns are in a rebuilding process since they just fired terry porter and have amare on the trading block. I apologize if this trade seems absurd, but need I remind you: IT'S JUST A GAME. it's not like any real GM is really going to pay attention to all this. everyone here is just trying to have some fun with some "what if?" situations. sorry if that's not realistic enough for you. "

Now, instead of taking his internet a**-whupping like a man, homeboy retaliates by telling me that he remembers when he was 18 and that he was naive just like me. And at this point, I'm thinking, "dude, how old are you and what the hell are you doing on message boards looking for intelligent conversation? Don't you have a job, and more importantly, a life?" I let it go, because quite frankly, if he's a guy going online to talk to people younger than him for interaction, chances are, I'm gonna see him on dateline. To people like him, I say, get a damn life and contribute to society in other ways that don't involve typing on a keyboard.